Porn and Masturbation

Sooo, I found this infograph via upworthy.com. I usually really like articles and videos from them, but this one just really struck a nerve.

Link for reference: http://www.upworthy.com/this-addiction-has-only-been-around-for-a-little-while-but-its-hurting-our-generation?c=ufb1

Here’s why…

One -

Porn and masturbation are still generally taboo subjects amongst the general population. I mean, let’s face it - if you’re currently a single guy, you’re probably not going to openly admit that you watch porn and masturbate, even if it’s just once a week.

And I have a feeling that it’s this shame in watching porn and masturbating that causes some of the symptoms experienced by these men/women who frequently watch porn for masturbation. There’s a stigma behind it that men and women carry with them all the time. It would make sense that they would experience feelings of anxiety and depression because they’re being forced to feel ashamed of their actions by a puritan culture.

These feelings are also present when talking to potential partners: shame, fear, feelings of worthlessness, maybe even feeling dirty. Anyone feeling like this, regardless of its cause, is likely to develop difficulty in communicating with others on any level.

Two -

Porn is not realistic. Granted, there is some good porn out there that really represents what an actual sexual experience looks like. But let’s face it, most of it doesn’t.

Men who watch porn for masturbation, especially men who have not had sex, obtain an unrealistic idea of what a sexual experience should be like. Then when it comes time to actually take a woman or another man to bed, it isn’t quite what they expected. Or not at all like what they expected.

Porn between a man and a women also often portrays the woman (or women) as a sexual object. You quite often don’t see their face(s) and a lot of the sexual encounter is focused on the pleasure of the man.

So, couple this disappointment with less arousal, and of course you’re going to experience erectile problems, difficulty reaching orgasm, and disinterest in your partner.

This especially impacts lesbian women. Lesbian porn is often created for an intended male audience and is created way outside the boundaries of reality.

Three -

Thirty-six percent of the “fapstronauts” reported shame about their more “extreme/deviant” tastes. This is another example of shame and judgment related to sexual preferences in our culture.

I can only assume that these more “deviant” tastes are referring to things like kink and BDSM. These things are so very misunderstood and misrepresented in our culture and so much stigma is attached to their practice, that it’s no wonder it creates feelings of shame in men and women who don’t understand that their preferences are normal.



In summary, I believe that a considerable portion of the problems experienced by this male majority isn’t so much the fact that they masturbate frequently to porn, but that the way that porn/masturbation is thought about in our society causes a great deal of shame and the quality of the porn itself is extremely poor and unrepresentative of a sexual relationship.

I’m also not dismissing the possibility that some of these people are experiencing genuine problems and symptoms of addiction, but it’s not a ridiculous notion to think that there are some underlying social factors attributed to many of these cases.

People

Quite frequently you see people say, “There are still good people in the world,” as if they’re sparse. Are there really so few “good” people, or are we just bombarded with negative images so often that we discount others?

And how do you even objectively identify a good person?

My English teacher said in class this week that he wouldn’t trust someone with the same ease he would have thirty years ago. He said he used to think people were inherently “good”, but his stance on this has changed over the years.

I see where he’s coming from, but does this necessarily mean that people have become more “bad”?

I really dislike dichotomies like this. Good and bad, right and wrong, moral and immoral, sexual preference, gender identity, and so on.

What about circumstance? Isn’t so much of the human experience circumstantial? Consider for a moment the drastic differences between our socioeconomical situation now as compared to thirty years ago. Or fifty. Or a hundred.

Circumstances now push our populations in further divided social classes. Help is harder and harder to come by for people in the lower class. It’s even frowned upon.

People are more and more divided as technology keeps people indoors. Even within the same house or sitting right next to each other, people aren’t connecting.

This idea that resources are scarce forces prices higher and higher as wages remain stagnant and our lower classes are practically forced to work as slave laborers. Even as we fill our landfills with 200 to 300 million phones every year…

Is it so surprising that a person might pick a wallet up off the ground and take the money instead of turning it in?

Is it so strange that someone would lie to get a little extra aid from the government?

Is it so outlandish that a man or woman would sleep with their boss to get that raise or promotion to help support their family?

Are people actually “bad” or are they just trying to survive in a society that has pitted them against one another and told them they’re not good enough to have their needs met? Are they “bad” or have we all been conditioned by an individualistic society to be narcissistic instead of other-oriented?

Even without reason, does doing something objectively immoral once in a while make a whole person “bad”? Do a few blemishes demarcate a person from a common good?

I’d like to think that, yes, people are inherently good. I think that circumstance causes people to do things that would normally be considered bad, immoral, or disrespectful. It may say a lot about their character, and I’m also not saying there are not bad people.

But I think people are good. I really do.

And I hope other people see it too…